Mistakes

Well it's been long time thinking hard about all the stuff i did in the past... Well to be honest i am only human. I've made a couple of mistakes the past few months one of them is the fact that I thought i did the right thing but in the end it just caused more heartache for me and well i hope the other person aswell, oky no wait that sounded realy heartless. I just hope they felt the same way so that i know they cared. Anyway i hate being so hardheaded, thinking that i'm always right. Sometimes you just have to come out and say "I am wrong and i made a mistake". I was just thinking about if they knew how sorry i am could there be any forgiveness? I cry myself to sleep almost every night thinking why was i so stupid? why didn't i just keep this big mouth shut? I miss her alot. I miss all the great times we spend together. Funny enough even if we don't speak anymore I don't think about the fights or bad words that were spoken, I think about the awesome times we had together. I messed up and i know things will probably never be the same again even if i wish it could. We all make mistakes. We are all human. Life is too short to stay mad.

Got this from desktop nexus

Well i hope i get more time this year to write and if not... i don't give a shit. Anyways i started studying this year to become a nurse. I love helping people and i truely think i belong in a hospital. This year kicked of with a bang... Great new years party and soon after that i started feeling like a new person. And yes i have become a new person. I changed into something i realy like, for once standing up for myself and don't keep my mouth shut if something bothers me. It get me into trouble but honestly i don't care, if you don't like it fuck off. So now i'm all the way in Potch without any friends (although i made the first years my little slaves... hehe) and it scares me to be here and not with them. At first i thought everything was going to be OKY but now everything has changed. Just because i stood up for what was right i get treated like an outcast. Like i don't excist. I've been replaced and i am fine with that, or actually i am not. I though our friendship was stronger than that. I realized today that i was'nt truely all that to them. From now on the only people i will stick with is my lesbian friends. They don't treat you like a threat and they trust you. It was like on saturday we had a braai at a friends house. First of all everyone there was a couple except me and another guy. I'm sorry but i realy don't watch porn (just kissing but it looks like they want to take each other's tongues out or trying to eat each other) and i really don't wanna see it in real life, spesially if it's my friends. Secondly I had half a packet of smokes left, i left the house for 10 minutes and when i came back... GONE! Stolen or actualy smoked by someone. It is not worth it. I'm tired of trying, tired of phoning, tired of smsing, just plain TIRED! Now you can call me heartless cause my heart was torn out and i refuse to grow a new one!