Well i hope i get more time this year to write and if not... i don't give a shit. Anyways i started studying this year to become a nurse. I love helping people and i truely think i belong in a hospital. This year kicked of with a bang... Great new years party and soon after that i started feeling like a new person. And yes i have become a new person. I changed into something i realy like, for once standing up for myself and don't keep my mouth shut if something bothers me. It get me into trouble but honestly i don't care, if you don't like it fuck off. So now i'm all the way in Potch without any friends (although i made the first years my little slaves... hehe) and it scares me to be here and not with them. At first i thought everything was going to be OKY but now everything has changed. Just because i stood up for what was right i get treated like an outcast. Like i don't excist. I've been replaced and i am fine with that, or actually i am not. I though our friendship was stronger than that. I realized today that i was'nt truely all that to them. From now on the only people i will stick with is my lesbian friends. They don't treat you like a threat and they trust you. It was like on saturday we had a braai at a friends house. First of all everyone there was a couple except me and another guy. I'm sorry but i realy don't watch porn (just kissing but it looks like they want to take each other's tongues out or trying to eat each other) and i really don't wanna see it in real life, spesially if it's my friends. Secondly I had half a packet of smokes left, i left the house for 10 minutes and when i came back... GONE! Stolen or actualy smoked by someone. It is not worth it. I'm tired of trying, tired of phoning, tired of smsing, just plain TIRED! Now you can call me heartless cause my heart was torn out and i refuse to grow a new one!
